Hi Ho, Hi Ho.....

So, I started back to work this week. Or at least I started leaving my house and going in to work and doing something while I was there. I just feel like my brain is mush and I can't make any coherent sense out of what I need to be doing at any given time. I keep trying to find the best way to organize my thoughts, ideas and to-do lists, but then can't even make myself sit and get it all down on paper. I think I am subconsciously afraid that once it is on paper, it will just be too much and I will lose it! I also think I am in a subconscious state of, "this is too good to be true, so surely it won't last". I wish I had been able to DVR my work life for the past 6 months (or even the past year) and go back and watch it so I wouldn't feel so completely out of any possible loop I should be in. It almost feels like I am starting a new job. I just have to keep telling myself-" it's OK, it's going to all come back to you and then you're probably going to wish you were still in that state of oblivion!"
Having said all of that, I just want to express my thankfulness for all of the following (in no particular order):
1. I have a job and work for a system that has been so supportive of us, which has allowed me to take this time with Clark (and Brynn). Not only that, but I have a job that allows me, at this very moment, to help fill the auditorium behind me with the laughter of about 600 Kindergartners as many of them witness their first stage musical. What could be better?
2. I have co-workers that are the most wonderful, generous, loving and hard-working people I know. They have been, and continue to be, right there to help in whatever way they can.
3. I have a husband that understands me, and all my internal turmoil about this returning to work thing, even when I drive him crazy with it.
4. We have friends and family that are willing to help us with the "logistics" of the daily life of our family.
5. We have found someone who has been willing to take on Clark's "high-maintenence-ness" on a daily basis, and (so far) has done it all with a smile and love! This is awesome-er than you can even imagine....
6. I have the pleasure of working with the best teachers ever, who have been amazingly supportive, understanding and patient.
7. Perspective....every day, I get a little morsel of something that reminds me of how extremely blessed we are as a family.

None of us knows what tomorrow will bring, so I am glad, for now, to experience the gift of today.  Suddenly things that used to feel like a hassle feel like a wonderful opportunity, and I hope my mind stays in this place.